


Those who remain...

by HASA_Archivist



Category: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: General, Years of the Trees
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-02
Updated: 2003-05-07
Packaged: 2018-03-28 17:24:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3863102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HASA_Archivist/pseuds/HASA_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nerdanel's thoughts on her husband, sons and the rest of their extended family straight after the swearing of the oath and during the departure of the Noldor from Tirion. This story is part of a series.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Those who remain...

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the HASA Transition Team: This story was originally archived at [HASA](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Henneth_Ann%C3%BBn_Story_Archive), which closed in February 2015. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in February 2015. We posted announcements about the move, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this author, please contact The HASA Transition Team using the e-mail address on the [HASA collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/hasa/profile).

 

_**“She came to him before the host started on its northward march.”** _

 

And so for the second time in my life I watched them and him leave. Leave me behind.

I remember clearly our last conversation. We shot words at each other, each hoping to wound the other more and more. Then I told him. No, no I begged him.

_“Leave me the twins, or one of them at least!”_

I can still recall his expression, though I am still not entirely certain of how to describe it. Shock, and then, then I believe it was something akin to anger but, so different, so very different.

It was as though by just asking for my youngest sons, my twins, my Ambarussa; that I had turned against him, that I had betrayed him, that I had deserted him.

_“Were you a true wife, as you had been till cozened by Aulë, you would keep all of them, for you would come with us. If you desert me, you desert also all our children. For they are determined to go with their father!”_

I realise now that we had only been speaking out of anger and grief, but that is no excuse. I remember the hot tears flowing down my cheeks, making me appear almost as angry and as hurt as I felt inside; as he said those words that are engrained in my heart, in my soul.

_“Were you a true wife…”_

Those words they haunt me still as I watch them leave from this high tower. In so many ways I wish to follow them. To go with them, to do as he wished of me…but, I cannot, not after what I said;

_“You will not keep all of them. One at least will never set foot on Middle-Earth.”_

My voice I hear again, scorning him and so in turn them. Scorning his fruitless endeavour for revenge. I have heard that Nolofinwë and Arafinwë will follow their brother on this fools errand. Even their sister Iriën, has said she will go. But I cannot, not now. I will remain with my father in Aulës’ halls, or mayhap in Tirion with the others who will not leave. The Lady Indis and her elder daughters Findis and Faniel I have heard will also remain; though I fear that they will desert Tirion and return to Taniquetil to live with their Vanyarin kin.

I fear for my sons also, Makalaurë’s wife has chosen to remain behind as has Carnistir’s wife Elenmirë. Though for neither do I know truly why. As for Atarinkë’s wife she is undecided and so rides with the host who now do leave. And with them go their son, my only grandchild Telperinquar who is little more than a babe in arms.

I hear my eldest sons parting words to me as though he is standing here beside me once more. He pleads with me to leave with them, and not desert them again. For he wishes, like I, not to parted once more, for they do not wish for any more disquiet. And this time I fear that fate will not be kind to him, or to any of his brothers ever again. Seven sons I bore to my husband Fëanáro, and seven sons he takes from me. Oh my sons! I hear their words again, spoken in the heat of a moment;

_“Be he foe or friend, be he foul or clean_  
brood of Morgoth or bright Vala,  
Elda or Maia or Aftercomer;  
Man yet unborn upon Middle-earth..."  
How could they speak those words?

_"neither law, nor love, nor league of swords,  
dread nor danger, not Doom itself…”_

Those shameful words.

_“Shall defend him from Fëanáro, and Fëanáro’s kin,”_

Do they wish for a further divide within our family? Their father and his younger half-brothers Nolofinwë and Arafinwë, already threaten to draw swords upon one another, and although reconciled in word...

_"Thou shalt lead and I will follow."_

_"So be it."_

__I do not believe that those oaths will hold true for much longer. For their father is dead, killed in cold blood; and so their true reason for reconciliation has been taken away from them.

And now this oath...

_“Whoso hideth or hoardeth, or in hand taketh..."_

__This terrible oath...

_"finding keepeth or afar casteth  
a Silmaril. This swear we all…”_

This doom that they pronounce upon themselves…

_“death we will deal him ere Day’s ending,_  
woe unto world’s end! Our word hear thou,  
Eru Allfather! To the everlasting  
Darkness doom us if our deed faileth…” 

Will lead them only to ruin...and despair.

_“On the holy mountain hear in witness…”_

It will take them, it will, I see it now…

_“and our vow remember…,”_

It will never be broken. Until…

_“Manwë and Varda!”_

The last.  
  
  
  


__**“Take your Evil omens to the Valar who will delight in them,” said Fëanor. “I defy them.” So they parted.**

 

 

 


	2. Author's notes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nerdanel's thoughts on her husband, sons and the rest of their extended family straight after the swearing of the oath and during the departure of the Noldor from Tirion. This story is part of a series.

**Authors notes:**

Names:  
Nolofinwë = Fingolfin  
Arafinwë =Finarfin  
Fëanáro = Fëanor  
Ambarussa = Amrod and Amras  
Makalaurë = Maglor  
Carnistir = Caranthir  
Atarinkë = Curufin  
Telperinquar = Celebrimbor  
Iriën = Lalwen  
I have included references to all of Finwë and Indis’ daughters as I think Tolkien may have just have made an error in the Shibboleth pertaining Faniel’s exemption. Elenmirë is a name I made up for Caranthir’s wife who is mentioned along with Maglor’s and Curufin’s wives in HoMe 12; and since it states that Curufin’s wife remained in Valinor my brain has decided that Celebrimbor must have been born in the waning years of the Blessed realm.


End file.
